Monday, October 22, 2012

Breaking News: The Massive Bear Hunt Outside My Window


Rumor has it, a bear has been ripping apart the trash behind our house the past few nights. Actually, not my trash, a neighbor's. 
The time is now 12:30 in the morning, and there is a massive bear hunt going on right now just outside my front window. First there were sirens. I said to hubby "I wonder what the sirens mean". Then the trucks with lights and cop cars appeared across the street. They turned on a huge spotlight, surely to make the bear feel right at home and surrender.  Well, a bunch of guys stood around in the light discussing what to do. Then some guy wandered over to some bushes with his flashlight and started waving it around, surely to let the bear know it was ok to come up, you know, friendly like. Then up pulls another truck real fast and some guy in an orange suit gets out and starts walking up and down the road, I guess so the bear could see him better.  He was carrying something that looked like a big camera or a geiger counter, maybe to detect the bear or capture an image, just in case the bear decided to buck convention and stroll right on up.......you know.......into the well lit crowd of people with guns.
So these guys are still out there with their flashing lights, and there are trucks patroling the dirt road in the woods just past them, just in case the bear decides to make a break for it. 
This girl is calling it a night. If I see bear tracks around in the morning, they'll probably be just one set, headed out of here, far away.

8 comments:

diane said...

So here's the latest:
There is an 80 year old woman who is missing that they were searching for until well after 5:30 am. Don't know if they found her yet.
That doesn't explain why the wildlife department showed up, unless everybody is chipping in to help search, or maybe they think that she had a run-in with Mr. Bear.

texlahoma said...

Sirens, bright lights and a lot of people milling around...and the bear didn't come walking up? That's a real head scratcher.

But seriously, hide any picnic baskets immediately!

diane said...

Tex: that's funny.
Seriously, I just read in the Morning Call that they found the missing woman, two blocks from her house, safely sitting inside of her car.

drollgirl said...

lol. you make me laugh. and so do all of the dopes trying to get the bear to come out and explain himself. lol

texlahoma said...

Off Subject - I don't know how much you know about HAARP (You usually know quite a lot about things.) But for what it's worth, well just look at my blog, it's probably nothing.

diane said...

Drolly, glad to oblige.

Tex, "probably nothing" is a term that most housewives know intimately. It's an opposite.
So, naturally, I went right over to your blog and laid down some info links for the haarp. You probably already have them.

Dr Zibbs said...

They should have just set out a picnic basket or jar of honey and hid in the bushes.

diane said...

Jim, simple logic wouldn't work for these guys. Where's the fun in it?