"Flying Out of Here", or "Could Someone Please Give Me A Stun Gun"

Once we arrived safely at the airport, got my boarding pass, ate a sandwich, and said our good-byes (which were especially good, with lots of PDA), I made my way through security and found my way to the gate. I found a spot to sit next to a very nice looking older woman who was tolerating a line of babble from some hicky young guy with a mullet. Poor thing, she looked at me like I was her savior, but I just buried my nose in a magazine and muttered something in french so she would think I didn't speak any english. Of course my cover was blown when they announced it was time to board the plane, and I stood up and rushed over to get in line.
Fast forward, I'm on the plane getting settled into my seat, when the woman sitting next to me tells her teenage daughter "not to bother the nice lady", and I realize that I'm sitting next to Linda Blair's evil clone. The stewardess's are walking up and down the aisle doing a head count. Then comes an announcement: "Could everyone with a "lap child" please raise your hands, because we are only counting 2, and there are supposed to be 3". So, I'm wondering, how exactly do you lose a baby on an airplane? After about 10 minutes of total confusion, the stewardess's announce that everything is o.k. after all, as the person with the 3rd baby didn't make the flight and we can now depart. I spent the remainder of the flight looking out of the window and trying not to catch the attention of the devil girl seated next to me. Btw, if you look out of an airplane window long enough, the ground starts to look just like someone spilled their cup of water on it, who knew?
And that's all I have for you today. I considered myself lucky to have arrived safely after flying "Slapstick Airlines". Once I get my photos developed, there will be more to tell, as I have pictures to go with most of the trip. It's good to know you can read, I always knew you were smart. xo