Thursday, July 23, 2009

Idiot







Hello, let me introduce myself. I'm an idiot. I'd like to be a cool idiot, like Iggy Pop, but I'm more like the other guys pictured here, without the flashing, or burning bag, or paper clips, or bomb. I'm the kind of idiot who can't get my scanner to copy a map of Ireland, so what you see is what you get. I was going to show you how my favorite Irish pub uses these cool maps for placemats, but nooooo, I can't get my scanner to work. It just makes a weird wind-up noise, a little chugga-chugga, some bumping noises, then it sounds like it's laughing at me with a hahaha noise, and spits out only 1/4 of the picture. Even my scanner knows I'm an idiot. (hanging head sadly)
Yesterday, like an idiot, I put too many s's in Lulu's link. Here's her real link. Go check her out. She's got a sandbar, which I could kind of use right now. But I probably wouldn't be able to copy an entire map to find my way there. sigh.

19 comments:

Marian said...

hello darlign Diane how are you? your not an idiot dear :O), off to check out lulu's link.
have a lovely day dear
xx
marian

Girl Interrupted said...

If you're an idiot then you're in great company ... I tried to change the tv channels last night with a calculator

:S

Have a great day!

Ps: the paperclip guy? Bleurrrgh!!!!

diane said...

Girl I: That's hysterical!

Joanna Jenkins said...

Hey Diane, Idiot line forms at the left--- behind me! I don't even HAVE a scanner :-)

You found some fab pics for this post though-- Very funny.

Hang in there! xo

Ann H. said...

Diane, my daaaahling, its the scanner. All scanners are stoopid. Trust me, they don't work for me either. There's probably no hardware in there, I bet if you crack the f*cker open there's an evil little scanner gnome...

diane said...

Joanna J & Ann H: My kind of girls!

...love Maegan said...

hilarious. do you have a digital camera? use that instead of the scanner :) I hate scanners ...and printers for that matter. But digital cameras are fabulous!

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Okay, it's got to be your scanner that's the idiot. I'm ready to push mine through the window behind it. Is it a Lexmark by any chance? They should all burn the stupid machines.

That guy with the clips on his face takes the idiot cake.

You are awesome and you rock. Throw that stupid scanner of yours out the window and I will too!

Hugs!!

drollgirl said...

oh god! we have a scanner at work that is fucking MADDENING!!! it takes eons to warm up and then makes all those noises you describe, and sometimes it will scan the entire image you need, sometimes not! bah! lots of cursing leaves my lips when that damn scanner is needed!

p.s. sometimes it is easier to take a digital photo of what you need instead of scanning it.

Cait said...

There's some wicked pics in this..woooo...

Thanks fo the note. You are so funny.

JFK Jean said...

Don't be so hard on yourself Diane Keaton. My dumb ass deed of the day was bringing my camera with me knowing it would rain...oh and also forgot the umbrella at home so naturally Mother Nature made me pay for it....

Girl Interrupted: That was really too funny lol!

Vic said...

I think it's the scanner's fault too. They're evil. Mine makes you push the button a thousand times, and then it only scans half.

Stand tall!!

Laura said...

People are strange!!!

Dominica said...

I'm with Meagan ...use a camera, my scanner is gaining dust somewhere in a backroom ! Fuck it !
I confess, I'm an idiot too, I jumped onto someone's back cause I thought I knew the guy and when I looked at his face to say surpise, I got a slobbering unknown face looking at me...
Who's the biggest idiot now ? Well ??

Cait said...

Thanks so much for the note. I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

Jack Daniel said...

Hahaha. Nice post. But no, you're definitely not an idiot.

Great pictures by the way. :D

Jasmina said...

I am the idiot

Leigh said...

Seriously!! All I can think about was that guys face is going to have a ton of wrinkles later on LOL

Lulu said...

Hey, am I too late??? To post about this, I mean????

Puff, pant (running running, panicking, trying to get to one of six flights this week so don't have time to post) Don't worry about the link!! You give me so many props, girlfriend!!

Enjoy your subscription!!!