Tuesday, February 9, 2010

No One Here is Innocent, But We've Changed the Names Anyway



The past few days have been a plethora of poop and puke. Are you still here? Boy are you a glutton for punishment.
Being the optimist, I never really thought that I'd get that stomach bug. Watching my beautiful daughter suffer on the sofa with her "throw up bucket". Ugh. I just somehow thought that I was impervious.
Fast forward.
I was in work, chipper as could be, happy to be the little slave driver that I am. My crew and I were knocking out the work like no body's business. Hmm, I am wondering why I keep tasting my peanut butter cookie from 2 hours ago. Naaahh, I think. It's not possible. My immune system is sky high. So I continued to cheerfully go about my work. Then the burping started.
Flip tells me to try drinking a 7-up or a Sprite to settle my stomach. So, o.k., down, chug chug chug, goes the soda. That's when the burping went to stereo.
As a customer approaches me, I wave him over to another area and tell him someone will be with him shortly. Nausea is swelling over me like a bad piece of cellulose film. You know, like in those old B-movies, where the filming looks all blobby and turns green. Like that.
I spy Steve at the copier. "Steve", I call. He looks up. "Yo, Steve. Go tell Flip that I'm not going to make it. No, scratch that. Go get Flip". Said customer looks alarmed and a little terrified, and goes running over to his designated area, dropping a package on the way.
I disappeared into the office. Flip arrives, opens the door just in time to see me with my head over the trash can, and says (as only someone in management can say) "Can you make it through until 9:30 kid?".
The office is spinning. I'm in another B-movie, I think.
"Flip, are you kidding me?" I started running for the bathroom. People really move out of your way when you run with your hand over your mouth.
I'm going to spare you the next half hour. Use your imagination.
Feeling a little better and somewhat peckish, I closed up my area early and went home.
That was two days ago. After one juice glass of cold coffee, a decongestant, and two ibuprofen, I am feeling much better this morning.
So the next time you see beautiful photos going up on my page for days at a time, and you think to yourself "I've seen some of these before", you will know that I am merely trying to keep you entertained through some personal drama on the home front. Pulling up material from my archive was my only option.

What's that crusty stuff in my hair? Gotta go.

11 comments:

mo.stoneskin said...

Poor you, you have my sympathy.

Reminds me of a house party I was at not so long ago. Not that you've been drinking, so it is not really relevant, but hey...

Two guys drinking heavily throughout the BBQ starting about 2pm. An Irish guy was on Magners, this other chap was on Strongbow. Irish guy drank Magners continuously till 2am, seemed unaffected and got up at 7am to help clear up the aftermath of the party. The other chap was asleep buy 6pm. At 10pm he woke, run towards the bathroom, found it locked and unleashed the most disguisting vomitting I've ever seen all over the floor. Anyway, I can't see why I would share that or why it would help you so I'll stop here...

diane said...

Mo: Would the moral here be:
Always Magners, Never Strongbow
or
Always watch where you step the morning after a house party.

I've never heard of either one of those labels. Are they beer?

SkylersDad said...

Hope you feel better soon!

furiousBall said...

feel better chica

Vic said...

Glad you're feeling better, and praying I don't get that!

drollgirl said...

oh god! barfing is the worst! the stomach flu is awful! i hope you are feeling 100% very soon!

p.s. i have barfed more in the last two years than i have in my entire life. it is so revolting. bleh!

Don said...

Ain't it great to be alive! No?

marian said...

Awww honey this is awful but it is really making the rounds as just before Xmas I had that same bug for a horrendous week.
Please take it easy till you feel better honey,it sucks being ill.
I hope you get pampered lots!
xoxo
marian.

Green-Eyed Momster said...

Wow! This sounds so familiar. My kids had something similar. Lucky for me I only got the runny nose part. Thanks to DayQuil, they don't even know I've been sick at work.

Big hugs!!

The Peach Tart said...

Oh sweetie I hope you're doing better now.

Jack Daniel said...

This is quite a nasty post...but the old picture of the lady in the bucket really makes it all readable.