Tuesday, February 9, 2010
No One Here is Innocent, But We've Changed the Names Anyway
The past few days have been a plethora of poop and puke. Are you still here? Boy are you a glutton for punishment.
Being the optimist, I never really thought that I'd get that stomach bug. Watching my beautiful daughter suffer on the sofa with her "throw up bucket". Ugh. I just somehow thought that I was impervious.
I was in work, chipper as could be, happy to be the little slave driver that I am. My crew and I were knocking out the work like no body's business. Hmm, I am wondering why I keep tasting my peanut butter cookie from 2 hours ago. Naaahh, I think. It's not possible. My immune system is sky high. So I continued to cheerfully go about my work. Then the burping started.
Flip tells me to try drinking a 7-up or a Sprite to settle my stomach. So, o.k., down, chug chug chug, goes the soda. That's when the burping went to stereo.
As a customer approaches me, I wave him over to another area and tell him someone will be with him shortly. Nausea is swelling over me like a bad piece of cellulose film. You know, like in those old B-movies, where the filming looks all blobby and turns green. Like that.
I spy Steve at the copier. "Steve", I call. He looks up. "Yo, Steve. Go tell Flip that I'm not going to make it. No, scratch that. Go get Flip". Said customer looks alarmed and a little terrified, and goes running over to his designated area, dropping a package on the way.
I disappeared into the office. Flip arrives, opens the door just in time to see me with my head over the trash can, and says (as only someone in management can say) "Can you make it through until 9:30 kid?".
The office is spinning. I'm in another B-movie, I think.
"Flip, are you kidding me?" I started running for the bathroom. People really move out of your way when you run with your hand over your mouth.
I'm going to spare you the next half hour. Use your imagination.
Feeling a little better and somewhat peckish, I closed up my area early and went home.
That was two days ago. After one juice glass of cold coffee, a decongestant, and two ibuprofen, I am feeling much better this morning.
So the next time you see beautiful photos going up on my page for days at a time, and you think to yourself "I've seen some of these before", you will know that I am merely trying to keep you entertained through some personal drama on the home front. Pulling up material from my archive was my only option.
What's that crusty stuff in my hair? Gotta go.