Encore! Encore!

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon.

I think being funny is not anyone's first choice.

I want to tell you a terrific story about oral contraception. I asked this girl to sleep with me and she said "No".

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I've never been an intellectual but I have this look.

If you want to make God laugh, tell him about your plans.

Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea.

Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered?

You can live to be a hundred if you give up all of the things that make you want to live to be a hundred.