Monday, November 1, 2010
I Went as Michael Jackson and Forgot My Camera, Thank G*d My Friend Had Hers.
I was invited to a private party at a local pub, Pimps & Ho's being the theme. So I went as Michael Jackson, who was neither. Having arrived early, I sat quietly at the bar while people started filing in. I spoke only to the bartender in a falsetto voice while ordering a glass of beer with a straw, so I wouldn't have to lift up my mask to drink. It was a beautiful thing, sitting there motionless, watching people's faces go from curiosity to nervousness. There was one guy who could not stop staring at me, he was compelled, and each time I would only turn my head slowly in his direction and stare him down. I think he wanted to punch me.
My friend, who invited me, showed up with her boyfriend. Their costumes were awesome, especially his huge 'fro. I waited another 1/2 hour, sitting there not speaking. The bartender told me that she had forgotten to card me and could she please see some ID. Someone had put her up to that, since no one knew who the creepy Michael Jackson was. So I motioned her to a small side room where I leaned over and gave her a wink over my sunglasses. She looked so relieved when she realized that it was an older woman behind the mask, and said "Your secret's safe with me". I went back to my seat and the other guests went back to nervously glancing in my direction. When my friend started taking pictures, I saw an opportunity, stood up, and walked over to her. I thought for a minute that her boyfriend was going to jump up and knock me down. In falsetto I said to her "Could you take my picture? Because you might not know me, but I know you" (drawing out the word "know" slowly). Her face went white. She said "Are you Phil?". I shook my head "no". This was almost too much. It was time to take off the mask, so off it went, and the glasses, and the hat, and shaking my hair out. "Omg, it's YOU!" she squealed. "I thought you couldn't come!". It was a relief not to be creepy anymore, but you have to expect something like that on Halloween.
The rest of the evening consisted of a few glasses of beer, pumpkin cupcakes, dancing like an idiot, and a whole lot of laughs. It was the best night out in a long time.
At the end of it all, I walked slowly home, singing softly to myself in the moonlight. I think it might have been a Michael Jackson tune.